Anyone for Turdage?

Every family has a cutesy little game, often unique to them and a favourite to get them through some mundane daily chore. We have a special game which I like to call rather charmingly, 'Count the Dog Piles'. We often play it walking together towards school safe in the knowledge families which play together, stay together. I do however have an inner debate as to the rules of the game, for example what should class as one unit? Can an especially elongated or disjointed pile be counted in terms of portions or should one take in to account the personal situation of a dragged defecating dog? Does one presume the origin of discreet piles in close proximity as one beast or could communal doggy extraction play a part? Perhaps it is best for our family's sanity to underestimate as a turdage count in excess of 50, can make one reflect unfavourably on one's environ.

Once we have tired of this game or the weather conditions permit, there is another version called 'Count the sputum'. This however takes a strong constitution, unless one is looking towards adopting community minded behaviour and contribituing to another fav of the local area called 'Watch the Vomit Splats'.