Walk on the Wild Side.

I would like to invite you to take a walk with my serious side, if you would, allow me to make a point. Please take a walk with me to my children's school. Perhaps you begin this walk with a head of glossy brown hair and a calm yet sunny disposition.

The first road requires a little dexterity, we crane our necks back the way we have been and swing to the direction we are going and pray that cars will indicate and take the sharp turning at a reasonable speed, perhaps showing some awareness of pedestrians.

The second is a zebra crossing, we have a few deep breaths allowing the cars to slow enough for us to demonstrates some faith they will stop. We then jog, shout and drag each other in order to make it across in the few allowed seconds.

At the third we forget the highway code and we tentatively poke ourselves out between parked vans, since our vision is so impaired we collectively rely on The Force and then we throw ourselves across the road.

At the fourth I thank the Lord for the lollipop man and just hope his luminous green suit gives drivers enough of a hint that they should stop. Although sometimes this fails and as yet only one child has been hit, but luckily that one bounced.

We arrive at school sunny disposition replaced by frayed nerves, glossy hair turned to grey.